Try hard enough, and maybe you’ll convince yourself you’re beautiful.

From loving you, I have learnt that flowers can grow from skeletons and dirt and grime. Because I know I love you, just like my tongue knows water and my skin knows blood and bruises. I had looked through every crevice of the dusty book-case to try and find a happy ending in my story, and I don’t think there was one, before the drinking and the night gave me you. I’m left cleaner every-time you wash your hand over my skin, and you let me know how soft my skin is. You always say it in such a hushed whisper and I do not know if it is because you are overcome or if it is because my own quiet lends itself to you. I go to you now like I went to alcohol, like I went to people I never knew, like I went to writing, like I went to the repetitive dripping of taps. These were my constants; my super-hero to my broken story; my utopia. But you waltzed into my life like you belonged in my lazy Friday afternoons with cups of coffee, and you walked into my life and locked the door behind you without even knowing it- because you belonged with my quiet contemplations of where I was headed. So much has changed, in such a beautiful and wonderful and pleasant way. Where contentment has become happiness and like has become love and hugs have become holding. But you still smell just as nice and just as clean as that very first time. And your hands are just as beautiful to me as they were the first time I held them. I’m just so much more in love with you. 

It is really nice, to be able to have someone there to fight with you when you’re feeling down. Because we all feel sad quite easily- it just depends on what it takes. 

On my birthday, I’m going to get my next tattoo (as a birthday present to myself). After that, I won’t be able to swim for two weeks afterwards. But I plan to get into complete shape within ten weeks, and I plan to do it in ten weeks only. I’ve only ever succeeded in losing around five kilograms at a time, only to gain some of it back. I’m making myself do it this time, though. I’m making myself get into complete shape within ten weeks. I think I will post photos and write about it and what-not. Because I know with all of ya’ll watching, it will pressure me a lot more. Leeeet’s doit! 　

I get very frustrated when people tell me that they refuse to do certain things because of how everyone does it. That’s one of the reasons why people tell me I shouldn’t get tattoos- because everyone is getting them. But, sir, everyone wears clothes. I can only assume that if “everyone” does something, it’s because that “thing” is either good or nice or beneficial in some way or another. Tattoos are a form of body modifications that have been around far longer than expensive high-end shoes. Yet it  can almost be guaranteed that most of us will own a pair of expensive shoes. And for what? For comfort, for appearances sake, as a form of hobby. I’ve stopped getting tattoos because of how meaningful they are. I’ve finally accepted the truth that if something were meaningful enough- I wouldn’t need to get it tattooed as a reminder- because I’d never forget. For me now, they’re an art form. A way of modifying myself to look more attractive (in accordance with me). I can’t regret something like that, because you ultimately end up looking at it like skin. And all skin will wrinkle and age, whether or not that skin has been tattooed. I don’t think you should ever not do something because everyone else is- everyone breathes, don’t they?